


Point Beneath

by stagnation13 (Bellalaine)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-05
Updated: 2010-05-05
Packaged: 2017-10-09 08:06:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/84863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellalaine/pseuds/stagnation13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John thinks about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Point Beneath

**Author's Note:**

> Tag for "Trinity" episode.

Day number six of John eating alone and he was through with this self-imposed exile from Rodney.

After their little chat at the transporter where Rodney hoped he could regain the Colonel's trust one day, John had gone into hiding, dealing with the emotional mess he had turned into after Project Arcturus. His brain was fried, and he wanted to work out all the stuff running around his head before he talked to Rodney.

True, Project Arcturus was a brilliant find and a brilliant idea, it just didn't work. John admitted he got caught up in the excitement of finding such a powerful, Wraith-destroying weapon. He got caught up in Rodney's enthusiasm that Rodney could really make it work. Then Collins died, which made Rodney even more stubborn in his desire to make it work, wanting so much for John to believe him that he could make it work. That hope grew into this monster that became Rodney, who actually believed he was smarter than the Ancients and it was their math that was wrong,

But…it wasn't all Rodney's fault. Caldwell backed Elizabeth against a wall, not giving her any choice in the matter of running another test on Project Arcturus, which fueled Rodney's ego even more. And John…John had to admit, he wanted it to work as much as Caldwell and Rodney did, for Rodney's sake. He got caught up in the cause, he wanted to trust Rodney. That was a sight he couldn't shake out of his head, Rodney pleading for John to trust him. Like Rodney had something to prove to him. Rodney had saved his ass, hell, saved all of their asses more than once. There was nothing left to prove.

John's heart broke to think that Rodney felt that wasn't enough.

That is what stuck in John's head, even days after the incident, the happiness Rodney experienced while he still had belief the project still worked. John knew that look, that look was hope, excitement, and Rodney didn't get excited about a whole lot. When they realized that the project was nothing but a failure, John could see the shame and failure in Rodney's eyes. Failure, or maybe the realization that the Ancients simply couldn't figure it out and died trying, so he was not going to have any better luck?

John had spent days in solitude thinking about those things.

He even ventured to Heightmeyer's door, because for one moment he wondered if he couldn't be friends with Rodney anymore. He needed to trust Rodney again, regain the faith he has always had in him. Kate cleared him out on that. The Colonel could still be friends with Rodney. What had happened was on a professional level. The trust John had lost was on a professional level. Rodney didn't let him down on a personal level. Project Arcturus was nothing personal, it was strictly business. John blinked. Shit, she was right.

As the days passed John felt better about the things rolling around in his head and he was ready to actually talk about them, but before he could find Rodney he was waylaid by Elizabeth in the mess hall, and she requested he join her in her office.

He figured she just wanted to chat, as he had been avoiding everyone, but they were half into their tuna sandwiches when she finally got to the point of why she had called him there.

"My military commander and my chief science advisor haven't spoken to one another in close to a week," she said, looking directly at him.

"John, this is totally off the record," she continued kindly, still munching. "I know you have been avoiding everyone since the Project Arcturus incident. Rodney is doing the same thing. Even worse, the two of you are avoiding one another, and I can't have you two not talking."

John couldn't look back at her just yet. "I had to work stuff out in my head," he said, attacking his bowl of peaches. "I even went to Kate."

Elizabeth nodded. "Good, I am glad you did. I hope she helped?"

"Actually, she did," John said, going back to his sandwich.

"I am not going to ask for details," said Elizabeth, "but I do need to know one thing."

"What's that?"

"Are you and Rodney going to be okay after all this?"  
John shrugged. "Does it matter?"

Elizabeth sighed. "Yes, it does. It really does. This might sound silly, but I might as well tell you anyway." She took a deep breath. "I am rooting for you guys, and I am hoping it will work between you two."

"Why, because Rodney is easier to deal with?" John smirked.  
, because you are."

*************************************************************************************************************************

He knew exactly where to find Rodney after dinner: on the balcony overlooking the west pier, sitting on the ground with his back against the wall, watching twilight disappear into night.

Taking a deep breath, John parked himself right next to Rodney. Rodney turned and there was a flash of something in his eyes, which could have easily been the stars that had come out. He opened his mouth to say something, silenced by John, who held up an admonishing finger. Rodney closed his mouth, but watched as John pulled a thermos and two coffee mugs out of nowhere.

Once he was through pouring for the both of them, John settled in next to Rodney so they were touching. Rodney didn't move, he was cradling the coffee cup in both hands like he was holding something precious.

They sipped and sighed, sipped and sighed some more.

"Um, thank you. For, ah, this," said Rodney.

John smiled. "Welcome." He looked skyward as he searched for his next words. "Who was it that said when someone brings you coffee, that means they love you?"

"Some sick romantic," snarked Rodney. "Zelenka brings me coffee all the…oh, great, Are you telling me Zelenka is in love with me?"

"No, Rodney, I am not," said John patiently, still looking heavenward.

"Oh. Well, good then." Realization as to what was going on hit Rodney. "Oh, yeah. Right."

John felt Rodney relax against him. That was better.

"I was, um, beginning to wonder if you hated me," Rodney said quietly, staring into his cup. "I…I didn't know what to think, really. You have every reason to be mad at me but as the days went by and you weren't around I…"

"Rodney," implored John, taking his hand and linking their fingers together, "I had some things to work out in my head. That was all. I am not mad at you, we all got caught up in Project Arcturus, we all wanted it to work," John paused and continued. "The bottom line is…Genesis didn't work," he quoted, holding in a snicker, smiling when Rodney chuckled, "but that's all done and behind us. I am not here to talk about that."

"But you had to throw in the gratuitous Star Trek quote," said Rodney as he moved closer to John, which wasn't really possible without sitting on his lap.

"What, surprised?" teased John.

"Coming from you, no, not at all. At least this time you didn't mention a DeLorean."

"It's a good movie, Rodney!"

"I'm not likely to forget, you keep reminding everyone."

They looked at one another and smiled, the tension gone.

John sighed. "I'm here because I miss you, Rodney," he said quietly, all seriousness. "We've got some stuff to work on, you and I."

"Yeah, we do," said Rodney, staring into his coffee cup. "Wait, you said we?"

John smiled. "Yeah, I did".

"Well! That's doable." John felt Rodney squeeze his hand. "I missed you too."

There was a comfortable silence between them while they worked on their coffee.

"Rodney, I trust you," John said finally, "And…I need to learn to not be afraid to tell you no when I need to.

"But that isn't the reason why I'm here," John continued. He poured them both more coffee, then scrunched down so he could put his head on Rodney's shoulder. "I don't want you to ever question how I feel about you, regardless of what happens," murmured John.

Rodney sighed. "I did, you know," he said softly, pressing a kiss to John's head.

"Yeah, so did I," admitted John, kissing the pulse point beneath Rodney's ear, "but not anymore."

They sat quietly for a moment. Then John said something low, pressing it into Rodney's shoulder. Rodney blinked, then understood what John said. He let go of his hand and put his arm around him, squeezing him closer.

"I know," said Rodney, taking a big sigh of relief, "me too."


End file.
